Happy Mother’s WEEK!!!

Being a mother is the most wonderful “job” in the world!  But it seems that one of the qualifications is “forget about yourself and put everybody/everything first”.  So this year, I am establishing the week of Mother’s Day as “Mother’s WEEK!”  Take every day this week to do something – anything – no matter how big or small, for yourself!

 

Today, I am planning a mani/pedi!  Yes, with my baby, but hopefully his Mother’s Day Week Gift to me will be to cooperate and watch a movie while I get it done!

 

I know it would be more frugal to give myself a mani/pedi, but I make an exception at the beginning of flip flop weather to get it done right just one time per year!  …I’ve been shamefully wearing flip flops with unmaintained piggies for about 2 months now, so it’s way past due!  Time to make time for myself!!!

 

Are you making time for you??? 

Happy Mother’s WEEK!

Being a mother is the most wonderful “job” in the world!  But it seems that one of the qualifications is “forget about yourself and put everybody/everything first”.  So this year, I am establishing the week of Mother’s Day as “Mother’s WEEK!”  Take every day this week to do something – anything – no matter how big or small, for yourself!

 

Today, I’m having a lazy day with my family and am loving every minute! – yep, that counts! 

How often does that truly happen, really???

Evaluating your performance as a home manager

 

 

I just love the phrase “home manager”.  To me, it paints a more accurate picture of what a mother does.  But are you approaching your role in your home with the same passion, commitment and professionalism as you would any other job? Mandi @ Organizing Your Way challenges us to self-evaluate our performace as a home managers here.  Great read and great blog!

How to Make it as a SAHM: Staying Interesting

I thought about titling this post “Keeping Busy”, but there is much more to staying out of the “SAHM funk” than just having something to do!  You have to stay interested in something.  After day 100 million of changing diapers and washing dishes you cannot honestly tell me that you find your housework interesting!   And my guess is, unless you are fortunate like me to have 2 best friends that also have babies, they are sick of hearing about how your son just said “da-dy” instead of “da-da”.  You have to find something that YOU enjoy and make time for it.  The tricky part is, that after doing anything for an extended time, most people become un-interested and need a fresh task.  Plus, lack of funding for most any project also puts a damper on several hobbies. 

So, without further ado, here are a list of hobbies I have, had, or want to keep me interested.  You may notice that the majority of my hobbies will have intentions of somehow profiting or saving my family money.  That is a common interest my husband and I have.  It is also a condition that I expect myself to work at if I want to stay home with my children.  Maybe it will give you ideas of your own.  

Hobbies I have:

• Blogging.  My newest addition to the list.  I am hoping  that someone will find what I write interesting and eventually, I can make money doing it.  I just have to figure it all out first!
• Couponing.   I’m not talking about just remembering to dig that one coupon out of your purse and handing it to the cashier!  I mean buying $165 worth of groceries for $35!  (Happened to me this month!)  I cannot imagine EVER paying full price for ANYTHING ever again!  This hobby takes ALOT of time to learn at first, but after you get it, it’s a snap!  Here’s where I got my start at it:  http://www.southernsavers.com/getting-started-guides/.
• Scrapbooking.  I had to decide whether to list this as a hobby I HAVE or one I HAD!  It’s been a year since I’ve updated my son’s scrapbook!  It’s very hard to do while your little one is awake, but love to do it when I get the chance!

Hobbies I Had:

• Sewing/Crafting for Profit.  I made and sold Mei Tai Baby Carriers, wipe cases, burp cloths, bookmarks, etc.  Kinda fun, but not very profitable for me.
• Ebay/Craigslist.  I would  try to sell junk I had at home and found at yard sales for a profit.  I was not successful at this for some reason, but I know many people have been.
• Grant Writing.  I think I just had the wrong grant.  I should look into finding another grant to apply for with the curriculum I wrote, but it took a LONG time and ALOT of work…all for nothing!  Guess I just gave up!
•  Internet Offers.  I am still working on one of these, but am thinking I won’t try it again.  I’m talking about the pop up ads that say, “Get a $500 Visa gift card!”  Some of them are actually legit!  You have to sign up for a set amount of offers (and remember to cancel them later).  It is rather complicated and so far has cost me $50 out of pocket.  After I pay the taxes on it, I’m not sure it’s worth the hoops I have had to jump through and the 6 month wait.

Hobbies I Want:

• Playgroups.  Since I am new to the area, I signed up for a mommy and me play group.  Unfortunately, I missed the first meeting due to a death in the family.
• Making Money at Children’s Consignment Sales.  I am going to go to yard sales when it finally warms up a bit and look for children’s items that might make profit at a consignment sale. 
• Http.  After I become more proficient at blogging, I want to learn to design my own pages.

I would love to expand my list!  Have any ideas for me???

How to Make it as a SAHM: Meeting Expectations

 

As a full time educator, I many times wondered why it was that stay at home moms always seemed to be running behind and wondered why they didn’t have it all together. I mean, they have all day every day to run errands, clean, cook, and do what had to be done! I knew that if I ever got the chance that I would finally have the time to keep the organized and spotless house I always wanted with no questions asked!

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Boy was I ever mistaken! Babies do NOT care what is on your to do list. You can just about bank it that baby will have a bad day when something important has to be done. Not to mention that EVERYTHING takes twice as long with little ones around. And any time something comes up, guess who gets nominated to do it last minute? …right. The stay at home mother with nothing else to do! In reality, there are very few days where you have any more time than you would if you were working. PROMISE.

So whether you are just starting out as a SAHM, are still living in the bubble, or can just relate, let’s re-examine the expectations one should have for yourself.

1. Your children and spouse are your priority. ALWAYS! (But not necessarily in that order.) One of the perks of staying home is having the flexibility to care for those you love when they need it the most. Don’t forget to do just that! Baby sick? The laundry can wait! Husband have a bad day at work? Groceries can wait until morning. Don’t let your to do list be your priority.

2. You CAN say no. You don’t HAVE to pick, up your neighbor’s child from school for the third time this week. They will make it home without you. A simple, “I can’t today, I have to tend to my own children” should do it. And if it doesn’t, refer to #3!

3. Do not allow anyone to disrespect you for not working. You ARE working. My favorite was when every time a certain family member called me for the first year I stayed home, I got the passive aggressive question, “Are you napping? Did I wake you?” (Because, you know, I have all the time in the world…I have nothing else to do!) I finally pointed out to her that she had more of an opportunity to nap at her job than I did at home with a baby.

4. Remember that being a SAHM is hard, but it is NOT the hardest job in the world. Your husband still has it harder. If for no other reason than he is paid with a paycheck, and you are paid with love! The paycheck comes with much more pressure. Don’t worry! You don’t have to TELL him that. Just remember it. Know what his expectations are and attempt to meet them. (Unless they are unrealistic, then it’s time for a talk!)

5. You have children. Your house will not be spotless until they move out!!! Just give it up. That goes for working moms, too. Shoot for clean and healthy, not perfect.

Keep those expectations in mind and save yourself the stress of figuring them out on your own!

How to make it as a SAHM: Understand what you’re feeling is normal and temporary.

 

Being a stay at home mother is HARD!!! And unless you are one or have been one, you probably don’t get it! Most moms find the transition at the beginning to be the most difficult. As with any major life change, you tend to go through phases. I would almost call them phases of “grief” for your life before – life with a job and money and other grown ups to see and communicate with daily! It may have been weeks or months since you quit your job. And especially if you have a new baby, you have been in a “euphoric” state of cleaning, cooking, and caring for your little one! It has felt weird not to need your planner or have your office phone ringing to interrupt whatever it is you are doing every 5 minutes! On days you felt lazy, you seem to have found motivation in the thought that your husband is busy working and it wouldn’t be right for you to sit down and watch Oprah! Then suddenly, it happens. Your house is clean. Everything is organized. Your baby is too young to take to the park, every friend you have is at work, and, because of your new budget, you have no money to go shopping!

Here’s how it happened during my “stages” of becoming a SAHM:

1. Denial (Guilt)- I was going out of my mind and I actually felt guilty for doing so! This is what I wanted, after all! I had convinced my husband that this was in our family’s best interest and now…NO!!! I COULDN’T BE MISSING MY JOB!!! I love my baby and want to be with him! But I feel so useless!

2. Anger – I started taking it out on my husband. I was miserable, lonely, and feeling guilty because I wasn’t happy staying home! As a result, I was crabby and mean and expected my husband to make up for it! (sorry, honey!)

3. Bargaining – If I had a little extra money, maybe I could do a little shopping! I tried grant writing, craft fairs, ebay, and tutoring. The crafting and ebay didn’t go as planned, but the tutoring did! I soon had a few students that would pay for the groceries AND give me a little extra!

4. Depression – I decided that I could not live like this! Time to get a job! The pouting, the crying, the mood swings…they would all go away if I got a job. So, I applied, got a call, and nailed the interview!! Problem solved…or was it???

5. Acceptance – I cried the entire long drive home at the thought of missing my son’s first steps; Of not having time for those morning cuddles; and mainly, of the scary thought of someone hurting him! I had to protect him, and the answer was clear I CANNOT DO THIS!!! Time to rethink everything!!! Staying home is now who I am. Working is in the past. Time to buck up and make it everything I wanted it to be! I just had to figure out how…

…to be continued…