How to Make it as a SAHM: Meeting Expectations

17 Mar
As a full time educator, I many times wondered why it was that stay at home moms always seemed to be running behind and wondered why they didn’t have it all together. I mean, they have all day every day to run errands, clean, cook, and do what had to be done! I knew that if I ever got the chance that I would finally have the time to keep the organized and spotless house I always wanted with no questions asked!

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Boy was I ever mistaken! Babies do NOT care what is on your to do list. You can just about bank it that baby will have a bad day when something important has to be done. Not to mention that EVERYTHING takes twice as long with little ones around. And any time something comes up, guess who gets nominated to do it last minute? …right. The stay at home mother with nothing else to do! In reality, there are very few days where you have any more time than you would if you were working. PROMISE.

So whether you are just starting out as a SAHM, are still living in the bubble, or can just relate, let’s re-examine the expectations one should have for yourself.

1. Your children and spouse are your priority. ALWAYS! (But not necessarily in that order.) One of the perks of staying home is having the flexibility to care for those you love when they need it the most. Don’t forget to do just that! Baby sick? The laundry can wait! Husband have a bad day at work? Groceries can wait until morning. Don’t let your to do list be your priority.

2. You CAN say no. You don’t HAVE to pick, up your neighbor’s child from school for the third time this week. They will make it home without you. A simple, “I can’t today, I have to tend to my own children” should do it. And if it doesn’t, refer to #3!

3. Do not allow anyone to disrespect you for not working. You ARE working. My favorite was when every time a certain family member called me for the first year I stayed home, I got the passive aggressive question, “Are you napping? Did I wake you?” (Because, you know, I have all the time in the world…I have nothing else to do!) I finally pointed out to her that she had more of an opportunity to nap at her job than I did at home with a baby.

4. Remember that being a SAHM is hard, but it is NOT the hardest job in the world. Your husband still has it harder. If for no other reason than he is paid with a paycheck, and you are paid with love! The paycheck comes with much more pressure. Don’t worry! You don’t have to TELL him that. Just remember it. Know what his expectations are and attempt to meet them. (Unless they are unrealistic, then it’s time for a talk!)

5. You have children. Your house will not be spotless until they move out!!! Just give it up. That goes for working moms, too. Shoot for clean and healthy, not perfect.

Keep those expectations in mind and save yourself the stress of figuring them out on your own!

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